Counseling Tips For Community Members After A Child Abuse Incident

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As an EMT and paramedic, my husband was among the first to respond to 911 calls that involved people getting hurt. After keeping the same job for several years now, he would not even need to blink during car accidents or heart attacks because of their commonality. However, if there was something that would always get to him, it responded to a child abuse incident.

Just a few days ago, my husband left the house on a positive note. He was like, “Maybe there would not be too many accidents today.” It was a far cry from reality, but he was always hopeful about it.

Once he came home, though, my husband looked sadder than he had ever been – even more miserable than when his childhood dog passed away two years back.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” I asked.

My husband said, “Someone called 911 today to report his neighbors, who had been abusing their child regularly. The man disclosed that the parents wanted the child to stop acting like one, basically. If he so much as ran down the stairs or made a noise at home, they would make him sits on the steps of the porch And not give him a meal for the rest of the day.

“Oh, my God,” I uttered. “But why didn’t the neighbor call sooner?”

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“I heard the police ask the same thing to the concerned caller when we arrived at the scene. The man said that he and his other neighbors had been getting death threats from the child’s parents because they had been giving him food on the porch whenever they would see the child out there. The couple did not want anyone helping the poor kid, claiming that he would not understand the consequence of not following the rules if other people would intervene ceaselessly,” my husband explained.

“And what gave them the strength to call 911 now?” I asked.

“The parents seemed to have started hitting the child as starvation and neglect would not work due to the concerned neighbors on his side. They resorted to punching and using belts,” my husband uttered. Looking at me with sad eyes, he added, “It was so horrible. The kid was black-and-blue when I saw him. We asked if he could stand up, and he tried so hard to do it. However, he was visibly weak from constant beatings and lack of nourishment, so he kept falling.”

“Where did you bring the child?”

“Well, the boy would have to stay in the hospital for a few days to ensure that he could get some nourishment and heal his physical wounds. His devastated grandparents were also there to take care of him. Then, they would take him back to their ranch so that the child could live away from the pain – away from his parents, who would get persecuted for child abuse.”

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Reeling In

I did not need to be a counseling professional to realize how negatively the child abuse incident could impact the entire town. After all, for at least a week or so, various news outlets could flock in town and disturb the peaceful neighborhood to get a scoop about the family of the abused boy. Instead of being able to move on quietly, they would have to fend off snoopy reporters.

Seeing my husband’s reaction, too, it was highly possible that the incident would have a much more significant impact on other people. My husband had only known about it a few hours ago, but he was so shaken that he could not even eat his favorite chicken parmesan for dinner. As for the family’s neighbors who had been aware of the situation for months but could not do anything to save the child until now, it must make them feel guilty and sorry for letting the boy’s parents manipulate them.

Still, if I were the neighbors, I would not allow the incident to affect me for too long. It was not their fault that those parents treated their kids awfully. They could have contacted the police sooner, but their hands must be tied at the time. Also, people were not wired to think the worst of others, so they might not believe that parents could act like that.

Final Thoughts

There was no doubt in my mind that it would take a while for the child’s neighbors to move past the incident. That’s especially true since the family’s home sat in the middle of the community, abandoned after the parents got convicted. From what my husband told me, even the best real estate agents found it almost impossible to resell the property, given that everyone knew of its dark history.

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As for the child, he never returned to that place. It was the best decision, considering the awful memories might only return if he did. There were other ways to cope with what happened, and they did not involve going back down memory lane too soon.

Hopefully, there would not be another case like this in the future.

 

Counseling 101: How A Missing Child Affects The Community

I was driving my daughter from school the other day when I saw her giggling at something on her phone. I was like, “What’s so funny? What are you looking at?” When she turned her phone to me, I ended up stepping on the brake pedal so hard that I had to hold my arm out across my daughter’s chest to keep her head from hitting the dashboard.

Well, before you say anything, I am not a bad mother. I am also certainly NOT a bad driver. It just so happened that my teenage daughter showed me a clip from a social media platform, Tiktok. It was an image of a middle-aged woman with special effects overlaid to make her look like she was transforming from a human to a she-devil.

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“What the heck is that?” I demanded.

I mean, I could envision that woman really turning into a devil because of how good her image had been edited. And as a devout Christian, I did not want to think that way to anyone.

Giggling, my daughter said, “Relax, mom! This is the mother of that little boy Who went missing in my friend’s neighborhood last week. This clip had been going around on Tiktok because signs were pointing to his mother as the culprit.”

My head spun a little at every word that came out of my daughter’s mouth. I knew that I was not the techiest person, but I did not live under the rock. If there is any gossip, and my coworkers knew about it, they would relay the information to me. But this one never reached my radar, and it was disconcerting.

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Learning More About The Sad News

As soon as we got home, I asked my daughter to show me the news articles regarding that missing child. According to the earlier reports, a boy with autism snuck out of school one day and was seen going home in CCTV cameras. However, his family called the police to declare that he was missing.

It caused a city-wide search for the boy, and the law enforcers had been looking everywhere and asking everyone who could have possibly gotten him. The authorities even said in the beginning that the child might be hiding from them, considering he had a habit of doing the same thing to everyone regularly.

However, after a few days of searching in vain, my daughter said that there was a rumor spreading in her friend’s town that the boy was not missing at all. Instead, he had a deranged mother who drugged him to death and then dumped his body in the lake for calling 911.

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That’s when I turned to my husband, who apparently heard the same news earlier than I did.

“My God. Is that possible?” I asked him.

“Honey, we don’t know for sure, but I also heard at work that the police were starting to drain the lake. They must be running out of ideas and did not want to leave any stone unturned.”

Understanding The Situation

The more I pondered about it, the more I worried about the news’ impact on the town where the missing child came from. As a counselor, I came across people who developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), even if they were not directly affected by such events. It was more of a dark cloud hanging over their heads and making them worry about the other horrible things that could happen in their neighborhood.

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In such cases, I would suggest a group meeting. They could form a circle and talk about their feelings regarding the awful events in town. It would not be too much for them to seek group counseling either, mainly if they lived in a close-knit community.

From what my daughter told me, after all, her friend’s parents and neighbors felt guilty for not seeing the likely signs that the boy’s mother could do a heinous act. Although there were no official news reports about it yet, it might only be a matter of time before reporters got wind of it. That would be especially true if they would find a body at the bottom of the lake. *knock on wood*

My daughter asked me what those people could likely do to move past this incident once the boy was found. I said, “They need to be more supportive of each other. If someone feels blue, they should check on them. It also matters to create a safe space for everyone to express their feelings. Otherwise, they may not be willing to talk about it.”

Final Thoughts

At this time of writing, I feel sad to announce that the boy has not been found. The law enforcers continued to retrace his steps from the school to the house, but they could not find clues that would lead to the child. We could only hope and pray that the rumors were incorrect about his mother and that the police could return the boy safely to his family.

Increasing Community Engagement: Tips And Tricks

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As a member of a community, you must remain sweet and lovely to the people surrounding you. Cliché as it may sound, but no man is indeed an island. If you do not know how to engage well with your fellow members in the society, then you may encounter significant problems along the way. At the same time, you will find it challenging to survive your days since you cannot easily approach anyone of them.

Because of this, we have decided to come up with an article that will focus on the different techniques that you can use so that you will be able to connect well with your community. The main focus of the post is to increase community engagement through the performance of the strategies that we are going to provide below.

Show Your Friendly Vibe

 The initial step that you have to consider is to let everyone become comfortable in approaching you. The technique is to send a friendly vibe to everyone. As much as possible, try to have a smiling face all the time. Never let anyone feel that you are challenging to communicate to. Otherwise, people will begin to avoid you.

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Give Them Time To Talk

Another essential tip that you need to keep in mind is the significance of allowing other people to tell their stories. Be considerate enough to know when is the best time to let them talk. Once they notice that you are a good listener, these individuals will become more interested in talking to you. Be sure to show them that you are kind.

Contribute To The Community

There are many ways on how you can let other people know that you care for the entire community. For example, you can volunteer to help in local activities. All you need is to devote your time and efforts. Be sure to show to them that you are not hesitant to extend your helping hands whenever necessary. Your little actions will mean a lot to these people.

Teach Others

Do you think that you have what it takes to transform the lives of other people? If you said yes to this, then be sure to reach out to someone and give him an opportunity to learn from you. Do not be selfish by learning how to share your knowledge with those who need it. When you teach others the lessons that you have learned about life and everything in between, they will begin to respect and admire you for it. Remember that your knowledge about things are put in better use once you start to share it to others.

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Conclusion

Engagement with the community is an essential thing that you must prioritize. Otherwise, you will end up feeling lonely and sad when you cannot communicate with them well. At the same time, you increase the possibility of not having the right persons in your life if you will not consider the tips we mentioned above. Have fun in engaging with society!

Your Guide To Establishing Solid Friendships

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A lot of things in your life need constant effort and commitment before you can make them last. As such, it is crucial on your part to do everything you can to see it so that you will keep them in your life. One of the relationships that you must be concerned of is the kind of friendship that you have with the people surrounding you. As early as now, you must accept the reality that it more important to have quality friends than to have many but have fake ones.

In today’s article, we are going to provide you with some tips and tricks that you need to remember if you want to build strong friendships with the people surrounding you.

Be Truthful All The Time

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One of the things that you need to do is to see to it that you will remain honest in all your dealings with a friend. Take note that no one will stay longer in your life if you are not honest with them. At the same time, you need to take note that people will know if you are faking your interaction with them or not. They can tell if you are telling a lie based on the way you talk or act whenever they are around. Once they do, there is a high possibility that they will no longer be interested in making friends with you.

Have Faith In Your Friend

Are you aware that a person loves it once they can feel that someone believes in them? If you want to make a wonderful friendship last long, be sure to make a friend feel that you have faith in him. Be mindful of the things that you will say whenever he is around. The goal is not to lie to him but not to also hurt his feelings. If he does something great, do not hesitate to give praises. He will appreciate it whenever you take notice of his excellent achievements. On the other hand, if he does something terrible, do not ignore it. Let him know so that he can change.

Stop Forcing It

It is imperative for you to understand that there are some people who are mean to stay long in your life while some are just going to pass by to teach you a lesson. Make sure that you are smart enough to know the differences between these two kinds of persons. As such, prevent yourself from trying too hard to build a friendship with people who are not worth it. Believe that those who are right for you will eventually stay. Remember that the more you force a relationship, the faster they break.

Conclusion

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Do not be afraid to establish a strong foundation for every friendship that you have with someone. Take note that the best kinds of relationships are those that happen naturally. Be careful with the type of people that you surround yourself. In so doing, you can be sure that you will not commit any mistake.

Tips To Deal With A New Community

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Being new to a community can be challenging and terrifying, especially if you do not know one single person from the said group. For example, if you are going to move into a new subdivision, a big part of you will always be afraid that your neighbors are not going to like you. At the same time, if you get a new job and deal with a new set of work colleagues, you will also become hesitant in establishing friendships with them. All these emotions are perfectly valid, which is why you must not feel sorry for finding it hard to handle a new community.

In today’s post, we are going to provide you with a set of guidelines that you can follow so that you can become better at dealing with a new community. Here are the tips to keep in mind:

Have A Smiling Face

If there is one thing that you have to become accustomed to, it is trying your best to smile in different situations. As much as possible, avoid frowning as it discourages people from approaching you. On the other hand, if you will make an effort to smile to everyone you meet, the other person will become more confident to connect with you. You will be amazed at how your connections may improve the moment you learn how to smile regularly.

Know How To Listen

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Another tip that you can use when it comes to handling new friendships in a new community is to show everyone that you are a good listener. Everyone likes a person who knows when to keep quiet in conversations. Nonetheless, make sure that you also know what to say at a given time. Do not let others keep on talking while you will remain silent the whole time. Otherwise, they may think that you are not interested in talking to them.

Be Positive

 Are you aware that other people can feel it whenever you are in a bad mood? Once this happens, they will become hesitant to approach you or deal with you. The reason behind this is because they are afraid that they can catch up on your negative energy. As a result, you will never get a chance to connect with them. At the same time, it can also send a signal to them that you are not a nice person. Because of this, you must make an effort in trying to remain positive all the time.

Conclusion

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As a member of a new community, be sure that you will remain friendly and approachable at all times. Never let anyone feel that it is difficult to connect with you. All you have to do is to show your good sides to those surrounding you. Once they can realize how great you are, they will start to say praises about you. In the long run, the community will eventually love your wits and guts. Be sure to follow the tips mentioned in this article.

How To Become A Role Model

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Everyone aspires to become a role model in a community where he belongs. You cannot deny the fact that you have this inclination to inspire and motivate others through what you do. Unfortunately, being a role model is not an easy thing to do. There are tons of things that you must consider before you can become better at it. Otherwise, you will only end up feeling or getting disappointed to the point that you will eventually give up on trying. We do not want this to happen, which is why we have decided to come up with an article that can help you succeed.

For today’s post, we are going to teach you the various tips and tricks to remember so that you will become someone that the members of the community look up to. Here are things to keep in mind:

Know Your Goals

The first thing that you have to accomplish is to be aware of your primary goals. What are the reasons why you want to become a role model? Are you interested in helping others succeed in their life choices? Or are you motivated by ill will? If the answer is the first one, then everything will become easier on your part. The reason behind this is because you are on track. On the other hand, if you are motivated because of the wrong reasons, then it is best to stop now because you are going nowhere.

Be Confident

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Another thing that you must never forget is the importance of self-confidence. Take note that you have to trust yourself and your qualifications to become a role model. You can never make other people look up to you if you do not have the right amount of self-esteem. Keep in mind that being too proud or confident is different from becoming conceited. Make sure that you know the major differences between the two so that you will not end up disappointing the community or society.

Engage Well With Others

When it comes to becoming a role model, you have to remind yourself that your level of engagement with other people is significant. You must maintain a harmonious relationship with those who are surrounding you. Make them feel that they can be comfortable when you are around. At the same time, learn how to communicate with them nicely. Failure to do this can make things a lot harder than they usually are.

Do The Right Thing

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If you want to become an excellent role model in society, be sure that you know how to do the right things all the time. Never let anyone see that you are screwing up. Take note that once you become relevant to the community, and everyone knows that you are trying to become a role model, other people will start to bring you down. As such, do not give them the power to do whatever they want with you. Instead, show them that you can succeed and become a better version of yourself. Learn how to follow the rules so that you can inspire others to do the same.

What To Look For In An Excellent Psychologist

If there is one thing that you need to know about the mental health industry, it is the fact that the demand for the services of a therapist, psychologist or counselor has risen over the past few years. The reason behind this is because more people are starting to notice how their mental wellness affects their day-to-day life. Several individuals recognize the expertise of the abovementioned professionals. They are aware that seeking professional help is the key to getting back control of their life and defeating some serious mental illnesses.

One of the ways in seeking help is through online sessions with the specialists at BetterHelp. Their counselors have the necessary certification to provide counseling and talk treatment. If you need it, you can avail of such services.

 

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In this article, we are going to focus on the critical things to look for when it comes to seeking a psychologist. Keep in mind that there are tons of mental health experts in your area who are offering their services to the public. Unfortunately, there is no easy way of finding out who among them is the best. As such, it is ideal if you will come up with a checklist of qualities that you must look for in a psychologist before committing as his client or patient. Take note that the choice of an expert to handle your case matters a lot. If you make the wrong decision, there is a high likelihood that your condition may worsen.

 

Before anything else, you have to be sure of your choice to seek professional help. Remember that no one else can help you but yourself. The first step to do is to decide whether or not you want to get in touch with a psychologist. If you are convinced that he is the right person to help you overcome depression, anxiety, stress, and other related issues, then be sure to read the rest of this article. These are the top qualities that every excellent psychologist possess:

 

Trustworthy

 

Look for a psychologist whom you can trust. At this point, it is crucial to emphasize the fact that the relationship of a psychologist and his patient is protected by the privileged communication rule under the laws and statutes. Because of this statutory protection, the former is strictly prohibited from divulging information about his client to any person. Notwithstanding the said prohibition, it will still be difficult for every patient like you to open up to a psychologist because of the fear of being judged and your secrets may be revealed. Thus, you must find a trustworthy psychologist. He must be someone you can talk to without having hesitations or feeling the need to lie.

“A good therapist should be open and willing to understand your concerns. If your counselor doesn’t take your concerns seriously or is unwilling to accept feedback, then it’s probably in your best interest to consult with another therapist about it.” –Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC

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Interpersonal Skills

 

The psychologist that you have to look for must be someone who possesses the right interpersonal skills. He must know how to connect to you well. At the same time, he must know how to express himself during your meetings or appointments. Take note that a great mental health expert knows and understands what his patient is going through. He must not judge anyone for their past decisions or choices in life. Instead, he must continue to show empathy, care, and acceptance. Once you notice that a psychologist does any of the acts mentioned in this paragraph, then it is best to start discussing his rates so that you can finally commit to becoming his patient. Set an initial meeting first to ensure that you can observe the demeanor of the psychologist.

 

Knowledgeable

 

You must also look for a mental health professional who knows what he is doing. Find someone with good educational background and has an outstanding reputation in the industry. He must be knowledgeable about his specific field in the psychologist. Remind yourself that quality is the essential one. Remember that it is your life that is at stake at this point, which is why you have to start making better choices. Find a psychologist who can explain the signs and symptoms of your mental health concerns in the simplest form. During your initial meeting with a psychologist, be sure to listen to his explanations because it will help you see whether or not he knows what is he is talking about.

“Experience and credentials are important, but it’s usually the personality of a therapist and the therapeutic rapport that develops between teen and therapist that is the most important factor of all.” –Kathryn Rudlin, LCSW

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Conclusion

“Making the decision to enter into treatment requires a commitment to prioritize your mental health and make some significant life changes.” –Catherine “Katie” Ness, MA, LCPC

There are many ways on how you can improve your mental health. Seeking professional help from a renowned psychologist is one of them. You can also try other available options such as regular exercise and a constant balanced diet. Dedicate your time and efforts in taking good care of your well-being. Once you do it right, everything in your life is going to be okay, and you may be bound to succeed.

 

How To Select The Best Therapist             

Many people are now starting to get worried because of the continuous increase in the rate of suicide. Nowadays, several individuals are choosing to end their lives instead of facing their problems. At the same time, there are also those who resort to violence, which is why the crime rate continues to increase in the different parts of the world. In the United States alone, there have been tons of reported cases where people commit mass killings. Because of all these, the services of therapists, psychologists, and councilors are now in demand.

Speaking of therapists, psychologists, and councilors, BetterHelp is a platform that offers the services of such specialists. You can read trustworthy reviews of the site and other comments about it from clients who have tried and tested their services.

 

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Erica Thompson, LMFT, LPCC once stated that “Mental health struggles are real. They can be painful. You may feel alone. In some of the darkest times, you may feel like something is “wrong” with you to the core.” If you believe that you have a mental condition or you think there is deterioration in your mental wellness, then be sure to find time to search for your therapist. Always keep in mind that just because you have a therapist does not necessarily mean that you are insane. Keep in mind that many individuals want to avail of therapy sessions not because of the find themselves crazy but merely for the reason that they want to talk to someone who can help them feel better about things.

 

We understand that it can be quite challenging to look for a therapist, especially if you have hesitations at the back of your mind. It can also be intimidating to hire a professional who will know about your life’s darkest moments or greatest secrets. As such, we have decided to come up with an article that can help you in this process. Below is a list of tips and tricks to remember so that you can find the best person to handle your case:

 

Ask Around

 

The first thing that you must consider is to start asking for recommendations from friends who have tried going to therapy. Stop feeling embarrassed about admitting to someone that you are seeking professional help. Always keep in mind that these people are more likely to feel proud of you instead of judging you. All you have to do is to make inquiries to friends or family members. Let them know about your concern so that they can help you find the best therapist in town. “Therapy offers you a safe place where you can say anything without being judged or criticized. Over time, people usually feel better and see their lives improving.” Dave Kaplowitz, LMFT, CGP used to say.

 

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Research On Your Own

 

Another strategy that you may want to look into is to research the best therapists near you. With the latest advancements in the field of technology, it is now way easier to search for specific people or qualifications. Just use the Internet to look for the top mental health professionals in your area. If you get lucky, you can even get access to the websites of licensed therapists. Once you do, it is best if you will take time to review the content of the sites and check the relevant comments or reviews provided by other people. However, it is best if you will verify the sources of any information that you will get before believing it. Take note that one wrong move can have adverse effects on your mental wellness.

 

Book An Appointment First

 

Before you sign any contract with a therapist or commit yourself in attending therapy sessions, be sure to set an initial meeting or appointment first. Do not be rash in making decisions about this matter so that you will not commit an error of judgment. During the first session, you have to observe the therapist too to determine whether he is fit to handle your issues in life. Aside from this, it is crucial for you to remember that you still need to be honest in all your communications to the therapist even if you are still in the searching phase. In so doing, you can make a better assessment of his capabilities. Note that “The foundation of therapy is based on the relationship you build with your therapist. When seeking someone out it’s important you feel comfortable with them.” Elana Schechtman-Gil LMFT said.

 

Check Prices And Availability

 

Aside from the things mentioned above, it is also best if you will consider checking the professional fees of the therapists that you have shortlisted. Take note that money will always be a significant factor when it comes to seeking professional help. Whether you like it or not, you have no choice but to pay for any service that the therapist will render. Moreover, it is also ideal for checking the availability of your future therapist. Otherwise, your money, time, and effort will just go to waste, especially at the times when he would start to be absent on scheduled meetings and activities.

 

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Selecting the best therapist must be your number one goal to see to it that you will receive the best assistance and support. Keep in mind that you can also talk to someone you trust about your condition if you are not comfortable with talking to a third person. The choice is yours to make.

 

Reasons Why You Should Volunteer For Community Services

One of the best ways to know and understand ourselves is through helping others. When there is a rejection of anger, greed, and hatred, every knock on the door will open new opportunities. Not only it does provide benefits for personal development, but it also allows us to impart essential life lessons to others as well. These include the contribution to the overall well-being of our family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, as well as those individuals we rarely meet every day. Spreading generosity, love, and devotion to other people is the best thing us humans can do.

We think of service as helping those people in need. It is where we recognize our passion for reaching out to others and fulfill our potential. Though we never know what kind of impact we make on a person, one thing is sure; the way they impact us becomes more meaningful because it stays with us forever. The possibility of helping others is endless. By that, here are the reasons why we should volunteer for community service.

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